theoryandcalculation | [Inugami] IC Inbox

You have disappeared before! Every night since you got detention-- how do you think that made everyone feel?!

[Idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot. It's the only word flashing through Rin's mind right now, like a feral chanting driving him to act upon a single instinct: to keep hurting him, until the pain maybe made him see the truth. His hands grip higher on Rei's collar, tighter, not enough to cut off blood flow, but maybe enough to leave a mark on his neck later, if this keeps up for long.

But despite this primal fury, he knows he doesn't want to hurt his friend-- on the contrary, he's trying to protect him. It's just really hard to do when he insists on throwing himself in harm's way.]

You've told me this before, remember?

[He takes half a step back, takes a deep breath, releases Rei from his vice grip, though only with one hand. He has to make this last attempt, a final chance to appeal to Rei's rationality.]

When that thing had possessed me, and I hurt friends... You reached out to me. Despite everything I did, you told me no one would give up on me. So why can't you accept that it's the same for you?

[Rei takes a deeper, shuddering breath when he's partially released, reaching up to rub at his sore neck above his collar.

He knows what he said to Rin then, and he still believes it. But this, this is different.]

That wasn't your fault, though. If this is my fault... I can't just do nothing. I can't sit idly by and put everyone in danger, put you in danger!

[He drops his hand, and his fists clench tightly.] This isn't about giving up on me, Rin-san. This is about me facing the consequences of my actions. I can't put everyone in danger again, I can't-

[He can't face that.]

[Rin doesn't miss a beat, doesn't miss the secrecy and the implication in Rei's word, but his only reaction is a pair of thin, red slits; they'll have time to get back to this later.]

This is as much your fault as it was mine, back then.

[Because no matter how much the others told him otherwise, Rin still knew that he had his share of responsibility for the ordeal, that he hadn't been strong enough to reel in his temper and all the physical aggression that came with it. But he had also learned that this was inconsequential to everyone else, that they wanted him with them, regardless; now he just needs to make Rei see that privilege extends to him, too.]

Even if you could prove that your actions were linked to what's going on in the school right now, it wouldn't matter. Even if that beast would stop hunting if it could have you, it wouldn't make a difference. No one would be willing to just watch you go like that; I sure as hell won't.

[Another deep breath, another half step away. Red still locked on purple.]

I'm going back to the auditorium now. Are you coming with me?

[Rei stares back into Rin's eyes. He hears what Rin is saying, but it's not the same situation at all. Whether they want him back or not is inconsequential. He has to do what he has to do to stop this, not just for them but for every innocent person he's put at risk with his actions.

He shakes his head at Rin.]

I wish I could, Rin-san. But we don't always get what we want.

[He knows it will hurt them, when he goes. But if his plan works? Then it's worth it. As long as they just think he was killed in an accident, as long as they don't know he went looking for this, they'll move on eventually.

Except Rin might tell them. Well. He supposes that depends on how cruel Rin wants to be.]

[Well. There was an attempt.]

Wrong. I always do.

[... an attempt at letting Rei come out unscathed from this whole argument, that is. Because Rin wasn't lying before, he absolutely refuses to leave Rei behind to sacrifice himself, for a moot cause, no less. So when his hand dashes forward again, it's not aiming for the collar; rather, his whole arm coils around Rei's neck and gruffly yanks him out of the closet, the other reaching for his pocket. He might have to call for back-up.]

You are getting out of there and coming back with me right fucking now!

[As a matter of fact, he knows he's going to be needing some help with this stupid nerd. Brb, calling the only person in the group he can trust to be responsible. Sort of. Overexerted shoulders not included.]

Rin-san, what are you- let me go!

[Rei starts to thrash around in Rin's hold, desperate to get out. Rin's got a pretty good grip on him, but Rei is pretty sure he can get away, if he just keeps this up. He's strong too, after all.]

Rin-san, stop! Just let me see this through!

[And other such protests, yadda yadda etc etc]

[Too bad for Rei, Rin has about five pounds worth of extra biceps on him, he can keep his hold for a good while. At least until back-up arrives, he's sure. Strugglebug all you want, butterfly.]

Like hell I will! If you're that hellbent on getting murdered, then I'll gladly do it myself, but that thing is not getting anywhere near you!

[ speaking of back-up, guess who definitely season-two-intro-level sneaks up behind rin to see him struggling with rei. ]

Guessing that's the thing you're going to regret.

[ guess who didn't get lost! and is kind of very much curious about what is actually happening. ]

[Oh geez, Sousuke is here. More witnesses means it will be harder for Rei to sneak off like he planned to.]

Sousuke-san, please, he's being completely irrational!

[Said as he tries to struggle out of Rin's grip. He knows his chances of convincing Sousuke of all people are slim, but he'll try.]

I'm being irrational?

[Rin spares him the most indignant, genuinely appalled look, though later realizes Rei can't really see it from his current vantage point. So he just decides to strangle him a little harder as to convey his message, just for half a second or so, then turns to Sousuke.]

This idiot somehow got into his head that that wolf thing will stop attacking people if it gets to him first, has been waiting outside all this time in hopes the thing will catch him, drag him off elsewhere, maybe even murder him, and I'm irrational?!

[At this point, he does a whole 180° and yanks Rei along with him, until they're both face to face with Sousuke.]

C'mon, tell him how stupid that is, maybe he'll actually listen to you!! [Maybe Sousuke looks more like the type of senpai Rei would pay attention to, he clearly has no respect for Rin as his upperclassman whatsoever!!]

[ ahh, yeah, he's definitely here just to see rei's embarrassment. for now, though, he just kind of watches, noticing how angry rin seems about the whole thing. it's only when rin looks back at him - with that indignant look even if it is directed at rei - and explains, that sousuke really understands.

what he doesn't understand, necessarily, is why rin thinks rei will listen to him, over what rin has to say. he ends up eyeing rei, one eyebrow arched, for another moment afterwards. ]

So you were trying to bait it to take you instead? [ he doesn't necessarily sound unimpressed, but maybe unfazed. like he's not really surprised.

the empty space to his side feels heavy, for half a moment. ] What makes you think that'd stop it?

[Rei stops struggling, partly because he doesn't want to do so in front of Sousuke, mostly so Rin will maybe ease up enough on his neck that he can answer properly.]

I can't know for sure, but it's worth a try, at least.

[He glances at Rin (or what he can see of Rin).]

Rin-san said it himself, that thing started coming around after I was given detention. And considering what I was trying to do that got me put there, it seems likely that it's all connected.

[He looks back at Sousuke.] If I'm right, and it wants to punish the offender, then it could save everyone. And if I'm wrong, it will just continue like it's going to already.

[Nothing to lose, right?]

[Damn it, Rei, you just had to go and tell Sousuke about Rin's own moment of stupid, didn't you? The only good thing about this is that maybe it clears up the topic that much further to him, helps him better understand why he's so involved-- he started it, albeit not intentionally.]

Idiot. [A huff, and he averts his look from both Rei and Sousuke, suddenly a lot more self-conscious. But at least he lets up on Rei's neck a bit, though not enough that he can easily escape.] I was trying to make you see how dangerous it is to go acting on your own, not to give you even more dangerous ideas...

[Ah well, too late for that. All he can do now is to try and fix what he messed up, so he shakes his head to snap out of his own guilty conscience and focus on being proactive, looking up at Sousuke.]

You see where this is going, yeah?

[The "we're going to have to keep an eye on this one" goes unsaid, trusting Sousuke to be able to read him.]

[ is papazaki's influence actually working???? either way, rei does seem to calm down, so sousuke glances to rin for a brief moment wondering if he'll let go, returning as rei keeps explaining his reasoning.

the worst of it is that sousuke gets it. if what happened to rei happened to him, he'd probably be doing the same thing. but he's not about to let rei know that while rin is standing there.

rin looks at him with that look, and sousuke fights the urge to sigh - yeah, yeah, we'll watch out for him - before he turns back to rei. watching him almost thoughtfully. ]

You're wrong. [ is what he says, after a brief moment of pause. ] It won't just continue on like it's already going. [ he gives a pointed look to rin, then, like what he's saying has a lot to do with rin's own actions as well, but he is looking back at rei when he continues. ]

If you had gone after that thing, and disappeared, you seriously don't think everyone here would have gone after you?

I was trying to do so without everyone knowing what I was up to.

[He gives the best glare he can at Rin. He would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kid.]

I was hoping everyone would just think I had gone home. Like we thought Makoto-senpai had at first.

[He'd wanted them to think he was alright, that he was happy back home. They wouldn't have gone looking, they would have been content with that thought. And when they all went home without him... maybe they would think there had been an accident, or something. Something they could move on from.

But he knows, in the back of his heart, that that's not the way it would have gone down. They would have gone looking. They would have wondered if he'd really just gone home, or if he'd been killed like Shirogane. They would have been upset.

He just doesn't want to admit it to himself.]

[See, all Papazaki has to do is stand there being scary. Now keep doing that, the child is misbehaving again.

But for the record, never let Rin know about Sousuke's equally messed up misconceptions about self-sacrifice. He would hate to have to deal with a deja vu of this.]

There weren't any dangerous creatures lurking outside when Makoto disappeared, and yet-- [Despite his snappish tone, he cuts himself off before saying too much again; words make it too real, and that's another memory he doesn't want to dig up.

Nevertheless, it doesn't seem like Rei is willing to listen to reason, and Rin doesn't feel like wasting any more of his breath and limited patience when nighttime is fast approaching, so he he just lets out a loud grunt, shakes his head once, teeth still gritted. Back to action.]

Forget it, it's useless to try to talk some sense into this idiot. [This is aimed at Sousuke, of course.] Just help me drag him back to the auditorium alive.

[But is Rin asking for help keeping an eye on Rei, or making sure he won't act upon his own murderous urges? It's a mystery.]

It didn't work.

[ be angry all you want at rin, rei, but you kinda messed that part up. like a lot. sousuke at least would have been more sneaky about it...

as it stands, the tallest of the three just ends up shrugging. it was a faulty plan to begin with, and now that it's fairly obvious that rei's not going to be making it out of this situation like he planned, sousuke feels like his work here is done. rin goes off about when makoto disappeared, and sousuke just kind of ends up watching him - seeing the way he cuts himself off, his demeanor changes.

it's only after rin mentions dragging rei back to the auditorium that sousuke's eyes return to the other swimmer, and really watch him. because he knows what he's thinking and knows that somewhere in there has to be that i know no one would come looking for me, why would i be that important. he can see it. but that doesn't mean he knows how to respond to it, either.

so instead, he just stares. like he's about to say it, like he's about to say anything at all, but then he sighs and shakes his head. ] Okay. [ and then he steps a bit to the side, waits for rin's direction on exactly how he wants to maneuver this dragging-of-rei thing. ] After you.

[Sousuke, don't you even dare. Rin called you up because you're the one responsible parent left, do not betray his trust, man.

Agreements out of the way, Rin briefly considers their next course of action; he couldn't possibly keep this hold on Rei's neck all the way back to the auditorium-- it's just too tempting to strangle him, in his current mood-- not to mention it's not as easy to keep as they move, so Rei might try struggle free and make a run for it. He's no match for Rin in the pool, but hell knows the nerd got one heck of a sprint on land.

Another few seconds later, he finally lets go of his death hook, only to move to Rei's right arm instead, grip tight as ever. Turning to Sousuke, he gives a motion of his head, signaling for Rei's left side.]

Grab on and haul. If he moves too much, I'll knock his glasses off and he'll run face-first on the first wall along the way. [He sighs.] I guess we'll have to think of something when we get to the storage room, too, it's gonna be harder to keep an eye on him if we fall asleep...

[A quick pause, and he stares up at his best friend, completely deadpan.] Ah, would you be terribly opposed to sitting on him?

[He's completely serious.]

S-sitting on me!?

[Rei splutters, tugging ineffectually at Rin's grip. The last thing he wants is to be sat on. No, really, the last thing he wants is Sousuke and Rin making a big deal out of this and telling everyone else, but sitting on him seems to point in that direction.]

Look, I won't try to run, just don't sit on me. That's humiliating!

[ yeah sure he can be the responsible one. totally. just like how all he had to do was show up before rei buckled. it works. you never have to question his own plans for himself ever again.

he waits for rin to move first, stepping in to the other side of rei and slipping his hand underneath the other’s arm. he doesn’t have an issue following rin’s orders with this. so he’ll just start walking with rin, equalling pulling rei along with them. ]

We could take shifts. We’re already sleeping in them. [ a.k.a. sousuke still isn’t really sleeping, he’ll watch over him then. when rin looks over at him with that serious expression - totally ignoring the way that rei speaks up between them - he shrugs. ]

Not really, but do you think that’d work? I’d have to get up at some point.

[If Sousuke's plans for himself include playing sacrificial lamb, then Rin is divorcing this family. Disowning? Whatever, he's leaving.

Also, one hooked eyebrow and a stern Look is all Rei will be getting by way of acknowledgement, but otherwise Rin is going to ignore his protests and pretty much speak over him. Sorry, baby caterpillar, let the grown up butterflies do the talking and decide what's best for you.]

I guess we can take shifts sitting on him, too. [He's turned back to Sousuke, still dead serious.] It just won't be as effective. I mean, you're heavier, for one, and he wouldn't try to shove you off of him, since you're delicate and all.

[That last bit is a reference to an earlier conversation, and possibly a hint that Rin's deadpan act might be just for show-- he wouldn't seriously take advantage of Sousuke's condition like that. But, if it guilt trips Rei into behaving, and Sousuke doesn't mind playing the role...]

[Rei scowls at his protests going ignored, but doesn't do anything more to try and escape. He does, however, have concerns beyond being sat on (though he doesn't really want that either!).]

We don't have to make a spectacle of out this! Please... I don't want them to know.

[He squeezes his eyes shut at that, trying to ward off the sudden burn of tears. If he cries now, he'll never forgive himself for being so pathetic. But the idea of the Nagisa, Haru, and Makoto knowing what he tried to do is too much.]

[Unlike his protests, Rei's plea and his struggle not to cry do get Rin's attention, if only because it's relevant to his own interests, too-- and, all right, also because he doesn't want to make anyone cry. But if the others knew about what Rei tried to do, then they inevitably learn about this was all Rin's fault, to begin with, and he doesn't want anyone else in on just how stupid he is. It was bad enough with Sousuke.]

All right.

[He stops, and his tone is still as firm as ever, but the promise is reassuring, almost as though he's about to go softer on Rei. Almost.]

I'll just tell them this is alternate punishment for skipping out on practice without prior warning. [And it's back to hauling!] Say it like it's a Samezuka tradition, Sousuke will back it up, they'll never know.

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